Josie the Big Girl, Momma the Baby

OK, tonight Jim is in Green Bay visiting family and I am home alone with Josie. Tonight is the first night in many months that I am supposed to NOT take Josie out of her crib and sleep with her in her bed. Last September she was doing great with sleeping in her crib through the night. But several months ago we started just putting her to sleep on her bed, and then if she woke up several times during the night, I would just stay on the bed with her and cuddle with her and both of us would sleep soundly until morning. This helped me because I hated getting out of my bed and walking to her bed many times per night. If I am in her bed, I don't really have to wake up to reassure her. However, she is now showing signs of not being able to sleep unless I am with her, which really makes me a prisoner in my own home especially because for the past couple of nights she wouldn't sleep soundly until after 9:30 pm. So we are back to the crib, and the thing of it is: Josie is doing great, I am not doing well. She went to sleep at 7:15 tonight, and has not woken up since. She fussed a couple of time, but put herself back to sleep. I am all nerves, and can't sleep a wink, even though when I was singing her lullabies I fell asleep in the rocking chair at 7:00. It's 11:00 pm right now. Do you know that last night I was fully committed to this idea of no longer co-sleeping, but then this morning I was dead asleep on her bed, and I was awakened by a big kiss on my lips: I opened my eyes and Josie's big crinkly smile was right in my face! She smiled and kissed me solidly two more times, then laid back down and went to sleep for another hour and a half. I don't want to miss out on that!!! Also, last week I was sleeping in her bed and I was awakened by a very strange choking sound. When I was fully awake I looked over and Josie was cracking herself up in sleep: Laughing with her mouth open, eyes closed, and just laughed for awhile. Must have been some wonderful dream!! I suppose after she is used to sleeping on her own for awhile, we'll have her sleep with us for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday mornings, for our sake, so we can continue to have these special times. She loves laying down between us, and makes sure she gives us both a couple of full smiles before she puts her thumb in her mouth and goes to sleep.