Our Adoption Process - Waiting

We are now in the official "waiting" stage - YAY!! The day after we sent our dossier out, I wanted to go to China NOW. After a few days, I realized that we have a lot to do! We are working on getting the nursery ready, and reading a lot about adoption. We are also "taking it easy" as this will be our last time to enjoy our time "just the two of us."

One of our greatest resources is the internet. Through the internet we have an E-mail connection to over 3,000 other couples and a few singles who have either completed a China adoption or are in process. Most are in the US but there are a number from Canada, England, Denmark, Finland, etc. On a daily basis we receive one or two “digests” each containing a package of E-mail messages sent by these people to the entire group. The messages contain information ranging from worthless to priceless.

This is like an electronic family. People express their hopes and fears, questions, complaints, some squabble, some use up the bandwidth with stupid jokes, and many just “lurk” in silence. Most importantly, breaking news on the China adoption front usually hits this E-mail list first; on occasion we know of developments long before our agency. And then there are the good times like the last couple of weeks when a logjam burst and a bunch of people tired of waiting received their referrals and travel authority; they perform electronic backflips for us while the rest of the family congratulates them and crosses their fingers for their turn. Then when the lucky ones return, they write their travel story, along with tips and traps, for the rest of us. Especially by hearing the stories of those who have recently made the trip and being able to play question-answer, we’ve been able to learn a great deal more than otherwise would be the case. Isn’t technology wonderful?

NAMES: We are waiting to select a name until we receive the referral. Here’s why. The abandoned girls are typically given two names by the orphanage. One name is common for the orphanage itself and the other is selected for the child. Sometimes a note left with the child by the birthmother provides her given name, and sometimes the foster parents give her a special name. In order to preserve some small part of her heritage, we will try to incorporate her Chinese given name as a middle name. Having the middle Chinese name helps to decide on the first American name, thus we wait. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but we’ll wait and see. We also want to see her picture before we determine what her name should be.

Potential Delays: The only method there is to determining when we will get our referral is by looking at how things have been going for the past year or so. There are many factors involved with this process, the governments, etc., so we are prepared for uncertainty.